hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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