I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
