You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
