How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
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