im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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