dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
