Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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