Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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