I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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