I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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