She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
