he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
