I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
