I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
