I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Are we still banned from the library?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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