Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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