We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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