he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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