you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
