if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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