Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
