Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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