I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
