Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
