yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
