somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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