Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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