it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I deserve this hangover.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
