Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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