is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
