People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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