I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
the room spins SO much faster in panama
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
