i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
