If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
