Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
