walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Randomize
