I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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