That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The best revenge is premature balding
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I deserve this hangover.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
