its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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