i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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