Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
