Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Randomize
