S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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