her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Randomize
