Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't deserve a penis
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
