I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
