can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
