I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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