so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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