There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
